| All of a sudden everybody's talking Global | | | | agreed to be interviewed in a TV studio that |
| Warming. | | | | creates a carbon footprint big enough to |
| | | | stamp out New Jersey?" or, "How come you not |
| Oh, you noticed? | | | | slimming down, riding a bike, stead of a |
| | | | Beemer?" or "How come you not unloading your |
| Talking heads on CNN, Fox, NBC, PBS, | | | | shares in Big Oil, Big Agro, Big Mining, Big |
| presidential hopefuls they think it'll garner | | | | Timber, Big Auto, and all those banks do |
| a few votes. They all falling over one | | | | business with them?" |
| another to be greener than the others. It | | | | |
| would be funny if it weren't so grotesque. | | | | Nobody asks these eco-bozos, "How come most |
| Each one of these idiots has a team of | | | | of your solutions penalize the poor?" or, |
| writers, heart-rending clips of hunks falling | | | | "How come most of your solutions involve |
| off the ice cap, and polar bears swimming | | | | higher taxes for the punters and not the |
| desperately in search of long-gone icebergs. | | | | corporate polluters?" or, "Why is it that |
| These same idiots head off like so many | | | | North America (the most |
| lemmings to world conferences (generally held | | | | technologically-advanced country in the |
| in places with palm trees, swimming pools, | | | | world, inventor of the Big Mac and the frozen |
| five-star restaurants and luxury hotels) on | | | | dinner) cannot produce economic, |
| Global Warming, sit around look serious, or | | | | pollution-free ethanol, when Willie Nelson |
| stand and make passionate. And you know? | | | | and Brazil have been doing it for years?" or, |
| Nothing ever comes out of it. Nothing gets | | | | "Why is it you allow automobile |
| done. Despite the speeches, the one-liners, | | | | manufacturers to load their sardine cans with |
| the video footage, and the Nobel Prizes, the | | | | more and more gas guzzling gizmos and junk?" |
| globe continues to heat and not one of those | | | | I mean, do we really need self-warming |
| speaking heads seems to have any idea how to | | | | coffee-holders? And, "How come any really |
| apply the brakes. | | | | good solution never see the light of day?" |
| | | | |
| Something stinks, and it's not the greenhouse | | | | But, more to the point. "If you so damn |
| gasses. | | | | scared about global warming, how about you |
| | | | dropping your private agendas, sorting out |
| Truth is, Global Warming has become big | | | | your real motives, then coming back, tell us |
| business. A growth industry. It generates | | | | what's really happening. In plain, |
| tons of hot air and socking big fat offshore | | | | down-to-earth language, no hype." |
| blind trusts. | | | | |
| | | | Too much to expect. Global warming, carbon |
| Most of the Global Warming gurus don't want | | | | footprints- real serious stuff, if not for |
| global warming to go away. It's a terrific | | | | us, then for our offspring- has become the |
| gig. It's making them rich and famous. They | | | | latest scam, the latest political pawn, the |
| get to talk with Larry King, shill the Global | | | | latest milk cow. |
| Warming books they had someone else write for | | | | |
| them. They get to sit around, getting made up | | | | If it goes on, we're lost. The globe is lost. |
| by pretty teenagers with sensational | | | | And the polar bears will drown. |
| cleavages, doing nothing more energetic than | | | | |
| yap until dinnertime. They get to act smug, | | | | When David Lovattsmith was young, Co2 |
| telling us we are a bunch of polluting | | | | emissions were still a sign of enlightened |
| sinners. They even win Nobel prizes at | | | | advancement, but global warming was already |
| ceremonies with a carbon footprint the size | | | | on a roll. Now, all we need is for the |
| of Vermont. | | | | experts to lay off their hype, and come |
| | | | clean. |
| Nobody asks these eco-bozos, "After the show, | | | | |
| how you going to get home?" (the Hummer, you | | | | We can slow down the mess. We can car pool, |
| kidding?) or, "How did you get here?" (Boeing | | | | compost, switch off Lou Dobbs, use less |
| 747, and lemme tellya the pretzels were | | | | water, cut out chemical cleaners, turn down |
| stale) or, "How big is your home?" (four | | | | the thermostat, wear warmer clothes imndoors, |
| baths, a Jacuzzi, six-ton Carrier heating and | | | | so on and so forth. But the main problem lies |
| air-conditioning unit on the roof) or, "How | | | | with governmental scams and global warming |
| come you're so fat?" | | | | gurus. They have to drop their corporate |
| | | | sponsors, clean up their act, before |
| Nobody asks these eco-bozos, "How come you | | | | humankind can clean up the environment. |