| Here's how to save big bucks on gasoline:Plan your | | | | them to bring a half-gallon of milk and a dozen |
| trips carefully. You can save 50% on gasoline by | | | | eggs.You can brew ethanol in your own bath rub. |
| going to only those places that are down hill -- and | | | | And don't let that unsightly ring around the tub worry |
| staying there.Carpooling is a great gasoline saver. | | | | you -- it can be removed easily and quickly by simply |
| Simply drive your car into a pool and leave it | | | | striking a match.Consider purchasing a scooter. |
| there.Cut gasoline consumption five percent by | | | | Scooters use hardly any gasoline at all, particularly in |
| avoiding stops and starts. Ignore all traffic signals and | | | | bad weather when most people leave them in the |
| tell the policeman to buzz off or you'll tell President | | | | garage.Do not drive your car at all for one week. |
| Bush.Always keep tires properly inflated. Low tire | | | | Take the money you saved and buy one share of |
| pressure means poor gas mileage, and the three or | | | | stock in each oil company. Within six months, you'll be |
| four service stations in each state that still sell air are | | | | too rich to worry about it.Recent studies show |
| expected to increase prices soon because the air | | | | motorists can save real money by filling up at a |
| industry needs more money to search for more air.If | | | | self-service gas station after the station is |
| you buy a new car that gets 10 miles per gallon more | | | | closed.Selective shopping can save you money. Since |
| than your present car, you will save 14 cents per | | | | gasoline is less expensive in the Southwest, you can |
| gallon on gas. If your new car costs $18,000, gets 30 | | | | save as much as ten cents a gallon by driving to |
| miles to the gallon, and if you drive 20,000 miles a | | | | Oklahoma to fill up.Convert your car's engine to |
| year, the car will pay for itself in only 87 years.Never | | | | nuclear power by ordering a kit from Iran. This will |
| carry unnecessary weight in your car. In other words, | | | | not only save gasoline but also cut down on the |
| if you have children, have small ones.A well-tuned | | | | number of trucks that pass you on the freeway.And |
| engine burns less gasoline. In fact, if you get a major | | | | the best way to save money on gasoline: Drive your |
| tune-up once or twice a week, your car will burn | | | | car only on even-numbered days when your favorite |
| hardly any gas at all because it'll always be in the | | | | oil company is losing money.Copyright 2006 by Joe |
| shop.Try to eliminate those short trips. For example, | | | | Hickman, veteran humorist and journalist. Joe is editor |
| when you call Orkin for a free termite inspection, ask | | | | at -- halife. |